Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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