wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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