No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
