No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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