There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
