It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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