You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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