Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
