at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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