He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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