You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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