look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
