the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And then my night got REAL pukey
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
