So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
