I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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