I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
