You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
