Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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