They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
