this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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