You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
