I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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