if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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