Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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