I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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