Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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