your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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