i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
