I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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