Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
