We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
