We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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