well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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