Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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