I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
