I hate all girls vehemently.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
