you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
