The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
