Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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