why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
