ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
