Where is the hickey?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
