Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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