I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You pole danced in your parka.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
