oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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