check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
