Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
