Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
