last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
