I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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