idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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