omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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