but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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